Wallstreet has recently suffered a big crash after the Holy Leader (The Holy Grind) said to the public to invest into his start-up known as 'Non Speculator' a computer app which cleans your computer for antiviruses. After the Holy Leader made it illegal to not have at least five shares in his company the value of the stock skyrocketed. At its highest one share was worth $873, almost no other stock was invested in as much as this one; in fact 98.3% of all activity on the stock market was put directly into Non Speculator. The Holy Leader then created five trillion shares for himself and the stock plummeted to one share being worth $0.0001 within 17 seconds of the creation of the shares.

One of interviews with an anonymous investor says that he lost $672,000 from it and is selling his house and car. The Holy Leader then later made an announcement to the public that he was forcefully made to make more shared by a random passer by who b***h slapped him and ran off, authorities are currently at work to identify this man.

We then finally had the chance to interview the Holy Leader, here is what he had to say: "Could you identify the man who forced you to create more shares?", "uh... yeah? He was wearing a wig that was orange and he uhhhh... he.. HAD A HAT! that was blue and he was wearing a leprechaun outfit and he had a very strong Quebec accent, but I'm very sure he got away and you wont be able to find him he looked smart". Our news reporters were silently ushered out of the auditorium by S.P.E.C.T.E.R authorities. 

Our Holy Leader has nobly said that he will offer a 'hug and a handshake' to anyone who lost money in his start-up and would be more than willing to help them out. He previously also claimed he would also give a free teddy bear to anyone who had lost money but then later backed out when 57,000 people wanted a teddy bear and #whereismybear was trending on Twitter for 15 days straight.

In terms of the stock itself, multiple stock companies have come out and said that it is the single worst stock in the history of stocks to have ever existed. GNN will keep you updated

Daryll Centon - G.N.N News 26/01/23